An Irrational Fear

I am afraid of Cafe Rio. I used to love that place! I'm not a big fan of Mexican food, but this place sure knows how to make it. It is soooooooooooo good. Their sweet pork is to DIE for. At an old job I used to have we would have Cafe Rio Wednesdays, and we'd get Cafe Rio every week. Someone would take orders and pick it up for everyone. I would look forward to Wednesdays so I could have my Cafe Rio. Seriously, this stuff is good. But, it does come in rather large portions and I was never very careful and I would get sick to my stomach from eating too much of it.

Since losing so much weight, I have tried to eat things I used to love and gotten sick. I guess my stomach just can't handle what it used to be able to. I haven't tried Cafe Rio yet. I haven't eaten there in at least six months, maybe more.

I had an interesting experience a little while ago. I was driving to the grocery store when all of a sudden someone was honking at me. I look to the car next to me and see my two brothers and my sister-in-law. I roll down my window and they tell me they are on their way to Cafe Rio to meet my parents and that I should come. I thought about it for a minute and said I'd go, but that I wasn't going to eat there. We drove our separate ways.

I arrived at the complex where Cafe Rio is located where I used to have such feelings of excitement! It's right next to a Sonic Drive-In (they have really good Diet Dr. Pepper) and some shopping areas. It's a cool area. But as I drove in that day, I noticed a very different feeling. It was a feeling of dread and horror. I had lost so much weight and here I was driving right into a place I used to eat all the time.

I sat and watched my family eat their food. I didn't want to eat any, and I wasn't even jealous of their food because I was too afraid of how it would make me feel. Eating it had made me sick before (but only from eating too much), how would it possibly make me feel now?

I don't really have anything to be afraid of. Cafe Rio uses fresh and healthy ingredients. It's the same as anywhere else, really. I would just have to be careful with portions. But I have this emotional attachment to this place that makes me fear it. I don't know when or if I will ever eat there again.

Today I am grateful for my coworkers again. They help even the most annoying situations seem hilarious!