Creativity and Body Image?

The Self-Discovery Word by Word Series prompt for this month is Creativity. The host for this month is Margarita at Weightless.

This is funny to me because everyone always assumes that I am creative, when I know that I am not. People think that I am creative because I draw and do other crafty things. However, I am an imitator, not a creator. I cannot create without an image being put in front of me. When I am inspired to make something crafty, it is never from my own head. When I found out I could draw, people would encourage/harass me to try to develop my creative side and see what I could come up with on my own. It seemed that no matter how I tried to explain it, I could not convince people that I did not have the talent to create, only to imitate. I am okay with this. It's funny to me that other people aren't.

My non-creativity translates to other aspects of my life, which is how this relates to my blog. The prompt was Body Image & Creativity. How in the world are they related? How in the world is creativity related to my weight loss journey? Well, for starters, I have the most success in losing weight each week when I eat the same thing every day, day after day. I find a meal that suits me that has a proper allotment of calories and I eat it every day. When I get tired of eating the same thing, I eat more normal and don't lose as much weight. When I try to be more creative with my eating habits, I am less successful.

As for body image, I have written before about how I always thought my body image issues would go away once I lost weight, but they haven't. In this way I have been somewhat successful at being creative, because I have had to come up with creative ways to battle this. I have found that dressing in new and creative ways helps me feel better about my image. Same with making sure my hair is done and my make-up looks right. I started wearing lip gloss for the first time ever. It doesn't fix the problem, but these little things definitely have helped me to see myself in the mirror as what I am and not what I was. I still run into those days where I say to myself "who has time for all of this?" But on the days I spend time on myself, I definitely feel more confident.

Today I am thankful for sincere compliments. It's nice when people notice on the days I try.

Bones!

This post today is about as exposed as I will ever get, when it comes to pictures anyway.

I wanted to share what I've been really excited about. I already mentioned it in another post. I am finding bones that I don't remember ever seeing before. Well, I remember seeing ribs before. But I for sure don't remember seeing bones around my neck before. I know they've been there before, I guess it's just been so long that I don't remember having noticed them before. Besides that I'm seeing bones in my wrists, arms, and legs, but nothing worth taking a picture of.

Can you see the definition from the bones poking out around my neck? So crazy! I can probably keep stuff in there, ha ha!

This picture you can't really tell very well, but I'm holding my ribs. I just can't believe that I have come this far that I can see all these crazy bones.

Today I'm thankful for people who take pictures so I don't have to. It makes my life so much easier!

Post Thanksgiving Weigh In

Thanksgiving is a bad week for dieters. Everyone overeats, and why shouldn't they? That's the point of Thanksgiving. I decided not to. I'm just not a fan of Thanksgiving food, so what's the point in ruining my diet just for the sake of stuffing myself silly along with everyone else? I very easily could have. I had to make the decision not to.

It paid off! I lost another 2 lbs for a grand total of 55 lbs! No holidays are getting in my way this year!

Today I am grateful that my sister-in-law is visiting for a week from Texas. I won't get to see her much, but I'm still really excited!

A Different View

So a lot of weight loss bloggers are a lot more open about numbers than I am. They tell how much they weighed from the beginning and everything including inches lost in different areas of their body. To me, that is so incredibly brave! I am way too insecure to be revealing most of that information. I have mentioned before that I will be revealing that information once I hit a specific milestone. It's a silly milestone probably, but it's important to me, and it's not too far off.

The most I have revealed to this point is how much weight I have lost so far. That doesn't mean much if you don't know how much I weighed to begin with. I've been pretty bummed that I didn't keep track of how many inches I have lost since I started losing weight last February 2010. Aside from weight loss, inches lost is a pretty big indicator of just how much fat you have actually dropped. But I wasn't thinking of this experience as an experiment when it all started back then, so I didn't measure myself in inches.

BUT... I found an old notebook from 2008! It has measurements that I took of myself from March 31, 2008. I was really excited when I found this. I gained twelve pounds between March 31, 2008 and February 2010, so these numbers I'm about to share are not at my peak weight, but twelve pounds off isn't bad, and it's the best I can do. I'm super stoked to have something to compare to in inches now!

March 31, 2008

Arms: 15"

Waist: 45"

Hip: 46"

Bust: 43"

Thigh: 31"

Band: 37" (underneath bust)

November 21, 2010

Arms: 11.5"

Waist: 30" - I might have measured in the wrong place back then...

Hip: 41"

Bust: 38" - I can't say I'm thrilled about this loss, but what can I do?

Thigh: 25"

Band: 32"

This is a different and fun way to look at it! I will continue to measure inches every so often and add it to my Progress page.

Today I am thankful for distractions that get me through my homework.

A New Look! ...And a New Weigh In

Have I ever mentioned how confusing my body is? I have had some pretty amazing results the last two weeks, and I feel like I didn't even do good this week! I freaking ate at the Olive Garden! I guess I have gotten used to portion control. I feel invincible. Now I know that isn't true, and I'm sure that I will have it rough again in the future, but I feel like I'm on fire!

This week I lost 3 lbs for a total of 53 lbs lost. What the heck? Not complaining though.

In other good news, remember when I started wearing size 10 pants? Well, size 10 is too loose right now, so I went to the mall and got two new pairs of work pants and a new skirt, all size 8! They zip up and everything. However, the pants give me minor muffin top. So I'm gonna have to walk around with loose pants until the muffin top situation is taken care of. At this rate, it won't be much longer!

You might have noticed that my blog has a new look. I got tired of the old one. Much like myself! I just got my hair done last week, and I love it! Here's my new look below.

This is me at 53 lbs lost. This is the new skirt I was talking about.

And here is a close up of my super dark hair. It's never been this dark before, and I love it!

Today I'm grateful for those who build me up when I'm feeling down. Even those who aim to inspire need a little help sometimes.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

I've lost 50 pounds!!! I have lost 2.4 lbs since last week, bringing me to a grand total of 50 lbs lost! So exciting! I'm pretty thrilled.

There is a term that other weight loss bloggers like to use that I want to bring up in this post, and that is non-scale victories. I feel like I had a pretty significant non-scale victory this week. Let me tell you about it.

When you are fat, you do not want to wear a swimming suit. Well, I had the opportunity to go to the Crystal Hot Springs this weekend. I love swimming, so I didn't ever usually say no to going swimming, but I was always very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to the point that it wasn't even enjoyable for me. But this weekend I went to Crystal Hot Springs and put on my swimming suit and expected to look in the mirror and see the old me. I haven't been in a swimming suit in a long time. I saw a different person, and it was a little shocking. I definitely have lingering body image issues that I'm working on, but it was very nice to see an improvement in my swimming suit. I was not uncomfortable at all that night, and I had a lot of fun.

Rosie 1 Scale 0

Today I am grateful for my hair stylist. I got a new do, and I love it!

Weigh In Results

This week was actually a pretty good week in terms of eating. It's hard to judge, because I'm going for a lifestyle change rather than strict dieting. Some days I do stay on a strict diet, and some days I'm a bit more lax. This is to ensure that I am creating a healthier lifestyle for myself rather than a crash diet and yo-yo pattern. This way my weight loss will stick. But this week I was stricter than normal.

My problem seems to be the same each week. Why is it that I just cannot seem to find the time to exercise? Oh yeah. It's because I like to sleep. I did a lower body workout on Monday, and that is it.

Results: I lost 1.4 lbs for a grand total of 47.6 lbs. Hooray!

Today I'm grateful for the movie Inception. I finally saw it, and it was freaking awesome! I really should have seen it when it first came out like everyone told me to.

Finally! Some Progress!

I feel like I'm turning into a broken record when I say that this was a really crazy week. But seriously, I had TWO TESTS. Not just small tests. Big ones. Like one of them is 50% of my grade. So I was pretty stressed this week. When I wasn't studying or working or sleeping, I wasn't functioning. It was like I was on laughing gas. I don't think my roommate likes me anymore...

The point is I didn't get a single workout in this week. I plan to do better this week. I just really don't understand bodies. I lost more weight this week than the last two weeks. And I didn't exercise. I'm about ready to swear off exercise again! Just kidding, everyone. We can all relax. I'm going to continue exercising. I know, bodies are weird, and fluctuations, and gaining muscle, and all that jazz. Not to mention the fact that I think I was more careful with my food intake this week. But for reals, I wasn't THAT careful... My body is so confusing.

So the result for this week: I lost 1.6 pounds for a total of 46.2 pounds. Finally! I made some progress!

I'll be posting some more pictures this week that I'm pretty excited about, and I'm also really excited about a post I'm publishing on November 3rd that will be featured on Fitblogger!

Today I'm grateful for my nieces and nephews. They are so cute. I'll tell you why on Tuesday.

Sharing - Isn't it About Time?

I'm really happy in this new body, and I'm really happy that I am continuing to have success. It feels so good! When I'm happy, I like to share. What's better than sharing? Nothing, in my opinion. Nothing makes me happier than to spread my own happiness. So I thought I'd share a list of the "pros" involved in weight loss. That, of course, means that you must include a list of "cons." Crazy, I know, but there actually are a couple.

Pros:

• feel better about myself
• way more energy
• I can wear my cute clothes again (until they don't fit anymore either)
• I can cross my legs again - when you're fat, you can't cross your legs!
• going shopping is way more fun now, even though I'm too poor to buy very much
• I haven't been to a doctor or anything, but I assume I'm healthier
• I don't feel like I have to hide myself anymore - I used to put pillows in front of me when I would sit down
• I get free drinks at the Bevron (for those of you who don't know, you get beverages at Chevron, so you can call it the Bevron) when certain people are working there. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have happened 44 pounds ago
• I'm still in discovery mode - when I hug myself and part of me is missing, it's quite exciting! My wrists are smaller. It's really weird figuring these things out.

Cons:

• I no longer feel justified in parking in the "Expectant Mother" parking spot at the Bowman's in Kaysville - man, that's a really good spot...
• I'm having a pretty serious issue with running out of clothes that fit and being too poor to replace them

There they are! I think the pros outweigh the cons...

P.S. I'm really grateful for a lot of things in my life right now. I don't express my gratitude enough. So from now on I'm going to end each post with what I'm grateful for that day.

Today I am grateful for good running music that keeps me pumped up.