It's About Freaking Time

I am finally ready to be more open. I keep mentioning how I had a specific milestone in mind for when I would reveal my weight, and I have hit that milestone. Please be gentle, it's really hard for me to reveal this information.

I stepped on the scale today and recorded a loss of 4 lbs since I last checked for a grand total of 66 lbs lost. This puts me at 140 lbs.

Why is 140 lbs a big deal to me? Because my drivers' license states that I weigh 140 lbs, and it has said that since I got it when I was sixteen. They don't weigh you, they just ask you. You can say whatever you want! I lied when I was sixteen about how much I weighed. I don't remember by how much, just that I lied, but it was at least a twenty pound lie. My drivers' license is accurate for the first time, except for maybe the picture. Maybe this is silly, but it has always been important to me.

Now, I know you can all add, which is why I never wanted to reveal my weight. I've lost 66 lbs, and I now weigh 140 lbs, which means at my peak weight I weighed 206 lbs. This is horrifying to me to let this information go. There are two sides to this number. I saw this number on the scale after Christmas 2009, and that number didn't stick around for very long. It was the biggest number I ever saw on the scale. However, there were times when I was too afraid to even step on the scale, so while 206 was the biggest number I ever saw, that doesn't mean that was the biggest number I ever weighed. I don't have the most accurate of records, but I'm guessing that by the time I went in for my neurologist appointment in February 2010 I weighed just under 200. Scary thoughts.

I will update my Progress page with my Weight and BMI charts and new inches and everything soon. Also, my goal has changed. My goal was to make it to 115 lbs, which would mean that I have another 25 lbs to lose. But as I have mentioned, I have been working with a personal trainer, and she says that since I am working out, a more realistic goal for me would be 125 lbs. This means I only have another 15 lbs to lose. This is good news, but weight loss has been slow as of late.

Today I am thankful for all the support I've had so far. I could not have made it this far without my friends and family.

Transformation

It is the start of a brand new year. I have my New Year's Resolutions prepared. They seem so much easier this year than they ever have in years past. They are not incredibly overwhelming. It is doable.

So how have I changed from 2010 to 2011? Oh my gosh, I feel like a completely different person. Inside and out. There are definitely a lot of factors involved in my transformation. 2010 was a big year for me. A year I will never forget. To start off with though, let's show you a picture of me last year around the holidays.

And here is a picture of me from almost exactly one year later. Big difference, right? This was right after a Mary Kay party, so I'm wearing a lot of make up...

But honestly, my weight is only one change that I went through this last year. I never really had a big problem with self-esteem, and I've always accepted my personality quirks. But this year I had some self-worth issues that I had never really dealt with before that I was able to work through. I'm still working through my body image issues. I have a long way to go before I can say that I am 100% happy with myself, but I can definitely say that I am a different person today than I was one year ago. I am close to 60 lbs lighter, I react to people's approach in a more positive manner, I am more loose, I have been working on being friendlier, and I am much happier.

Today I'm grateful to everyone who impacted my life in a positive manner in 2010 and helped me become a better person.

New Year's Resolutions

I mentioned in my last post that I had been thinking about what my New Year's Resolutions would be this year. I've never been very successful with New Year's Resolutions before, which is something that I've seen being addressed on other blogs. Other people are changing the word resolution to the word intention. New Year's Intentions. I feel like that is a cop out. It's like you are intending to fail by saying that. You are giving yourself the okay to not meet your goals. So I am sticking with resolutions.

As I said before, my weight loss goals aren't my top priority this year. Crazy, I know. Weight loss has been my top goal every New Year for who knows how long now. But I am getting pretty close to my goal already, so I already know I'm going to make it. I can concentrate on other things at the same time. So here they are:

• Be a positive influence to those around me. I want to be able to inspire those who read my blog as well as those I interact with in real life. This is very important to me. It feels good to know I can make a difference.
• Get a career path going from the job I currently have.
• Be more open with my friends and family.
• Make it to my goal of 115 lbs by June 2011. This is really scary to put a date to the goal, but what is a goal without a deadline?
• Be more active. It's been really cold, and my workout equipment is in my parent's garage. I need a different form of exercise I guess. That, or I need to stop being a baby and just do it anyway! I don't want to get flabby!
• Once I make it to 115 lbs, figure out how to maintain that weight and keep it off FOR GOOD!
• I have a buttload of drawing projects I need to do...

Today I am grateful for my friend Chris. He doesn't read my blog, so I'm safe using his name. :)

Resolutions???

So my brother is home from Texas for Christmas, and when he first saw me he could not believe his eyes. He was absolutely shocked. It's pretty nice when I run into people I haven't seen in a while and they hardly recognize me. It happens every once in a while. Anyway, he was telling me how great I look and I was getting all embarrassed and stuff and I told him I still had a long way to go. He said I didn't have that much farther to go. This is not the typical brotherly comment I'm used to. He was trying to get me to give him numbers, which I wasn't quite willing to do. But it got me thinking. It's the end of the year, and this is the first year in a long time where it's been time to make my New Year's Resolutions and I haven't been overwhelmed by an enormous weight loss goal. It's kind of nice. In fact, weight loss isn't even the top priority on my list this year. I haven't decided yet really.

Today I'm grateful that I made the decision to live a healthier lifestyle all those months ago. It makes this time of year so much easier.

Christmas Reflections

Isn't Christmas the best time of year? This has been a good one. My life is so much simpler this year than it has been in year's past. My favorite part about Christmas is giving presents. I pride myself on my gift giving skills. Nothing makes me happier than to get a good reaction from a present.

Christmas is a good time to reflect on the year as it comes to a close. 2010 is a year I will never forget. So many changes took place in the course of this year for me (like losing close to 59 pounds among other things), and I don't remember a year I've been happier. Here are my top nine days (I'm lame and couldn't think of a spectacular tenth day worth mentioning) in 2010:

9. Trip to Crystal Hot Springs. Swimming and Campfire afterwards - doesn't get better than that!

8. Day before Thanksgiving when I went four wheeling with a bunch of friends.

7. Jazz Game back in February with a few friends - almost witnessed my friend get into a fight after being told that his cheering was annoying, it was pretty funny!

6. Poker Night - Out of nine people playing, I came in third. What?!? Normally I'm one of the first out!

5. UFC Fight Night - I never would have guessed that I would enjoy watching men fight, but it really is very entertaining!

4. Trip to Provo to visit the afflicted. Me and two friends drove down to see an old friend of ours who was getting married soon - meaning we were never gonna see him again, so it was basically like he was dying. Went out to eat, had a big campfire, good times.

3. The night I was told I had written a very thoughtful letter. I know, I'm lame for being vague.

2. Illegal fireworks in Plain City for Independence Day - which we happened to be celebrating on my birthday. Corruption! Best firework EVAR! Best birthday EVAR! I will never enjoy regular fireworks again.

1. 311 Concert in July - I've seen them live twice, and they are AMAZING. They put on such a good show! I spent a few months working on getting cheap tickets, finally found a good deal and got a bunch of tickets for a bunch of friends and got off work early that day. 311 did not disappoint! There were crazy people everywhere, crazy stuff happened, lots of good stories, and lots of good times!

2011 should be just as great. To end my post, here is me in my Christmas dress. My roommate had me pose, and I felt really silly.

Today I'm thankful for all the good fortune that has befallen me this year and for my friends and family who I'm sharing the Christmas holidays with. I hope those of them that are reading this recognize the events above that they shared with me. Merry Christmas everyone!

Great Expectations Gone Sour

Sometimes things don't work out the way you plan. Sometimes trips get cancelled at the last minute. Sometimes you spend your weekend in a hospital because your roommate needs to have her gall bladder taken out. I was more than happy to take her, let's just say that it wasn't my idea of the fun filled weekend at California I had been planning. Sigh...

So I didn't end up having to hold myself accountable to eating well while in California, so I didn't do a weigh in before and after. I'm sticking to Sunday weigh ins.

This week went really well. I had a ginormous burger at Red Robin but I still had a loss of 2.8 lbs for a grand total of 58.8 lbs. I am really glad that I have been able to find a balance for eating more normal and still be able to lose weight. I'm happy to see a big number for this week again.

Today I'm thankful that my brother is home from Texas for Christmas. I had a really crappy couple of days, so it was REALLY good to see him.

What I See in the Mirror

Today you will find my post elsewhere. I did a guest post at A Merry Life. Mary is awesome, and I'm so excited that she let me have the opportunity to write on her website!

Here is the link to get to her website:

http://amerrylife.com/2010/12/16/rosies-look-in-the-mirror/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+amerrylife/EBQq+(A+Merry+Life)

A Challenge

This week started out terrible in terms of eating as I was stressed out of my mind because of finals week at school. But that is over now, and the second half of the week went much better, and I was able to scrape by with a loss. I lost 1 pound for a grand total of 56 pounds lost. I'm still going, it's just been a slow two weeks!

Upcoming: I am going to California this weekend, so I will not be here to weigh myself or post my results next Sunday. I know, I know, this will be a break from consistency, but I gotta go! I need a break. I'm super excited to go with some awesome friends of mine, it's gonna be a blast. I haven't decided yet if I will weigh in on Thursday before I leave or on Wednesday when I get back. Maybe both, and we'll see how I do on the trip. That will give me some accountability. So I guess I'm challenging myself to eat well while in California.

Today I'm grateful that school is out.

Good News Minute... and Weigh In

This week wasn't great in terms of eating. As in I ate unhealthy everyday. When I say that, I don't mean that I ate a lot, just unhealthy. I don't think I'll ever stuff myself again, it's too uncomfortable. So I wasn't that surprised when I didn't lose any weight this week. I weigh the same this week as I did last week. I'm okay with that though, because I lost 7.4 lbs in the last three weeks, one of those weeks being Thanksgiving. That's pretty good! I'll do better this week.

On a happier note, I had a very pleasant trip to the mall yesterday. Remember how I've lost quite a few inches? Well, this has been devastating on my budget, particularly since once you've gone Victoria's Secret, you can't go back... or something else that rhymes. So I've paid a visit to Victoria's Secret about once a month to replenish my stock with smaller items which has been pretty annoying and expensive, but worth it. Well, they do this thing in November called Secret Santa where you can come back in December and find out how much your card is worth. Usually it's only $10 but it can be $50, $100, or $500. My card was $100! I was freaking out! I totally deserved this! I am one lucky girl. So I got $100 worth of free stuff at Victoria's Secret that I desperately needed, and they threw in a free tank top for "spending" more than $60! Which I promptly started wearing as pajamas.

I know you guys like pictures. I got two new dresses this week. Dresses are my favorite thing to shop for, especially now. I love this new dress!

What am I thankful for today? You guessed it. Victoria's Secret.

Eating Out

It’s okay to go out to eat with your friends when you’re on a diet. If you’re careful. If you don’t let yourself have a little fun every once in a while, your diet will never be successful. In my experience anyway. With too much restriction, you risk the chance of binging later on. Instead, change your eating habits. Make a lifestyle change. Control your portions rather than worrying about deleting entire food groups from your menu. This will save you from yo-yo dieting and help you maintain your weight loss. I feel like I have found a good balance on how to eat out with my friends. Here are some examples:

One of my favorite places to eat out is the Olive Garden. I love Italian food. Olive Garden is notorious for their unlimited salad and bread sticks. News flash: you don’t have to eat all the bread sticks. I decided to become a one bread stick girl. That is easy when you are with girls. I’m happy with one bread stick. As for salad, as long as I get my tomato and my olive, I don’t need a bottomless bowl. I’ll finish my one plate of salad and wait for my entrée. Hopefully you can talk someone into sharing with you, and with Olive Garden, I can usually get someone to split an entrée with me. So the only problem is selecting your meal. Luckily, Olive Garden is delicious, and it’s hard to go wrong.

It’s a bit harder to eat with guys. For some reason, they want you to eat more. They aren’t okay with you eating only one bread stick. It bugs them when you don’t want to eat chips and salsa. Like when I went to Chili’s with a couple of my guy friends a while back. They were outright offended that I did not want to partake in the appetizer. It annoyed them further when I ordered a turkey sandwich and did not eat the fries that came with it and took half of the sandwich home for later. Well, they got to eat my side, didn’t they?

Most often when I go out to eat with friends, we go out for sushi. Sushi is AWESOME when you are dieting. Sushi is surprisingly low in calories. Even the tempura fried sushi! Obviously, some types of sushi have more calories than others. Look it up before you go and see what fits into your calorie budget for that day. The bad thing about sushi is that it isn’t very filling. But it’s not as hard to fill me up these days, and it is delicious, so who cares? We typically go during happy hour when you can get sushi rolls for half off, so you can get two rolls for the price of one. I should only get one roll, but I usually get two just because I can never pick only one kind! Then you get to swap with your friends and try a bunch of different kinds… ooooohhhh…. Sushi…..

It’s okay to eat out. Just maintain balance and be careful with your portions. Skip appetizers and try to share your entrée with someone. It’s probably best to have water instead of soda, although I love me my Diet Dr. Pepper! The nice thing about dieting is that it’s like a diet on your wallet too. You don’t have to pay two bucks for a soda and you only pay for half of an entrée if you share with someone.

Today I’m grateful for Tepenyaki. I got to eat there last night for my work Christmas party and it was delicious, and an entertaining experience. They cook the food in front of you!

Eyes Bigger than the Stomach

Do you wanna know how I lost the first forty pounds? By eating practically nothing every day. I would have a breakfast shake in the morning and I would eat high fiber cereal at night. Oh, and of course lots of lots of water and Diet Dr. Pepper. I knew I wasn't being healthy, but I justified it by saying I was getting all my vitamins and minerals from my breakfast shake (those things are jam packed!) and by saying whatever I wasn't getting my body could take from my extra reserves. Of course I was hungry, but I was FOCUSED like I never have been before in my life. Something in me had clicked and I just wanted the weight gone and FAST. So I was ravenous, but had no cravings. Nothing sounded good. I literally did not want to eat. I have never experienced that before, and probably never will again. Those feelings are gone now. I crave food again. But that period lasted just long enough that my habits have changed, and I have self-control and will power now.

I have wonderful people in my life who all were concerned about what I was eating. It was pretty annoying actually. I was so focused on losing weight, and everyone was telling me to eat more. But I knew they were right, and I realized that if I wanted the weight loss to stick, I would have to lose it slower and in a healthier way. So I eat a lot more normal now. I've had slow weight loss weeks and I've had incredible weight loss weeks since starting to eat more normal. I am very happy with the balance I have created.

One thing I have found since my return to eating more normal is that my eyes are bigger than my stomach. Have you heard this term before? I'll have a plate of food and I won't be able to finish it. I still give myself servings that I would have been able to eat 55 lbs ago. My stomach has shrunk significantly, and my eyes haven't adjusted yet! Something I need to be careful with. But I have learned to recognize that I am full and to PUT DOWN THE FORK! Whereas in the past I would have cleaned the plate. Unless I realize I am full when there are two bites left, then I finish. Get off my back!

Today I am grateful for my bed. It is ginormous and comfortable and warm, and much too big for my bedroom. It's been really cold lately, and I just want to stay in my bed all day long!

Post Thanksgiving Weigh In

Thanksgiving is a bad week for dieters. Everyone overeats, and why shouldn't they? That's the point of Thanksgiving. I decided not to. I'm just not a fan of Thanksgiving food, so what's the point in ruining my diet just for the sake of stuffing myself silly along with everyone else? I very easily could have. I had to make the decision not to.

It paid off! I lost another 2 lbs for a grand total of 55 lbs! No holidays are getting in my way this year!

Today I am grateful that my sister-in-law is visiting for a week from Texas. I won't get to see her much, but I'm still really excited!

A Different View

So a lot of weight loss bloggers are a lot more open about numbers than I am. They tell how much they weighed from the beginning and everything including inches lost in different areas of their body. To me, that is so incredibly brave! I am way too insecure to be revealing most of that information. I have mentioned before that I will be revealing that information once I hit a specific milestone. It's a silly milestone probably, but it's important to me, and it's not too far off.

The most I have revealed to this point is how much weight I have lost so far. That doesn't mean much if you don't know how much I weighed to begin with. I've been pretty bummed that I didn't keep track of how many inches I have lost since I started losing weight last February 2010. Aside from weight loss, inches lost is a pretty big indicator of just how much fat you have actually dropped. But I wasn't thinking of this experience as an experiment when it all started back then, so I didn't measure myself in inches.

BUT... I found an old notebook from 2008! It has measurements that I took of myself from March 31, 2008. I was really excited when I found this. I gained twelve pounds between March 31, 2008 and February 2010, so these numbers I'm about to share are not at my peak weight, but twelve pounds off isn't bad, and it's the best I can do. I'm super stoked to have something to compare to in inches now!

March 31, 2008

Arms: 15"

Waist: 45"

Hip: 46"

Bust: 43"

Thigh: 31"

Band: 37" (underneath bust)

November 21, 2010

Arms: 11.5"

Waist: 30" - I might have measured in the wrong place back then...

Hip: 41"

Bust: 38" - I can't say I'm thrilled about this loss, but what can I do?

Thigh: 25"

Band: 32"

This is a different and fun way to look at it! I will continue to measure inches every so often and add it to my Progress page.

Today I am thankful for distractions that get me through my homework.

A New Look! ...And a New Weigh In

Have I ever mentioned how confusing my body is? I have had some pretty amazing results the last two weeks, and I feel like I didn't even do good this week! I freaking ate at the Olive Garden! I guess I have gotten used to portion control. I feel invincible. Now I know that isn't true, and I'm sure that I will have it rough again in the future, but I feel like I'm on fire!

This week I lost 3 lbs for a total of 53 lbs lost. What the heck? Not complaining though.

In other good news, remember when I started wearing size 10 pants? Well, size 10 is too loose right now, so I went to the mall and got two new pairs of work pants and a new skirt, all size 8! They zip up and everything. However, the pants give me minor muffin top. So I'm gonna have to walk around with loose pants until the muffin top situation is taken care of. At this rate, it won't be much longer!

You might have noticed that my blog has a new look. I got tired of the old one. Much like myself! I just got my hair done last week, and I love it! Here's my new look below.

This is me at 53 lbs lost. This is the new skirt I was talking about.

And here is a close up of my super dark hair. It's never been this dark before, and I love it!

Today I'm grateful for those who build me up when I'm feeling down. Even those who aim to inspire need a little help sometimes.

Turn up the heat!

One thing I have noticed the last few weeks is how much colder I am this fall than I have been in years previous. My whole life I have gone around without a jacket or even a coat because I'm just too lazy to grab one. I always say you only need a jacket from the house to the car and from the car to wherever you're going. So if you can handle the cold for a few seconds you're okay. But this year for the first time, I've been a lot colder than ever before!

I always told people that I'd much rather be cold than hot, which is still true. You can do more about being cold than you can about being hot. I used to jokingly tell people that I could handle the cold better than they could because I had a lot more insulation than they did because of my fat. I say jokingly, because who knows if that is even true or not? Well, I have lost close to fifty pounds this year right before winter, so I decided to research it and see if there was any truth to it.

So does me losing weight have anything to do with me being colder than normal? Or is it just a coincidence? My research* shows that there are two reasons that those experiencing weight loss would be cold. Fat is an insulator, as I used to joke about. When you lose fat, you lose insulation, and you feel cold. So apparently I learned that in school at some point and wasn't just making it up. But the second reason is because my metabolic cell processes aren't working as hard as when I was heavier. It takes fewer calories and less energy to maintain and move my smaller body, and as a result, less heat is generated to move me around.

I have good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good news first. My body temperature will become normal again once my weight stabilizes. Rapid weight loss throws off your body and it is caught off guard. It needs time to catch up. Until then I need to wear more clothes I guess. Now for the bad news. Apparently those who exercise regularly experience less chilling than those who don't exercise. So I guess my body is hinting at me that I need to exercise more than I have been. Dang it!

This was a fun little research project. Maybe I'm just cold for no reason and it has nothing to do with my weight loss. Maybe my office just needs to turn up the heat, because I'm freezing!

*This article is in reference to gastric bypass patients, but it also talks about significant weight loss in general. There are also forums supporting this on caloriecount.com.

Today I'm grateful for my boots and my pea coat. They keep me warmer and they're super cute!

How Fast Can You Lose Weight?

So I've been creating graphs to chart my progress so far. I had a week a with some pretty intense cravings and it was hard for me to remember to stay on top of my diet, so I decided to remind myself why I'm doing this by showing myself how good I've done so far. You can find the graph I created on my new Progress page. I created three graphs. The first one I created shows my actual weight starting back in February when I got put on my new seizure medication. As I have mentioned, I don't feel secure enough quite yet to reveal this information, but I will soon. The second graph I made shows my BMI since February. Same with weight, I feel like BMIs are a little too revealing, so this graph, too, will soon be revealed, but not quite yet. However, the third graph I created shows how much weight I have lost since February. This third graph I made is the one you'll find on the Progress page.

The tricky part about this is that I did not maintain accurate records, so a lot of this is guesswork until September. They are very educated guesses though. Like I am assuming for instance that I was at my peak weight when I went in for my neurologist appointment back in February. I dropped ten pounds without really doing anything on my own, so I guessed that two months later I was at a weight ten pounds less. Between then and somewhere in July I tried half-heartedly to eat better since I was on medicine that hindered my appetite, and I ended up yo-yoing back and forth another five to ten pounds. It was in July that I made a conscious decision that I was going to take dieting seriously. That is when you see the graph going up significantly. Between the middle of July and the beginning of October I lost another 30 pounds. That is ten weeks, for three pounds a week! It's no wonder I have been unsatisfied with my rate of weight loss lately after my rapid weight loss earlier this fall.

This got me thinking. What has changed? Is it me? Am I doing something different? I found an awesome website with some amazing insights. It gave me some answers as well as helped me to refocus.

#1 The fatter you are, the quicker you will lose weight.

A fatter person doing the same activities as a lighter person for the same amount of time will lose more weight, simply because more calories have to be burned to move a heavier person.

Voila! 46 pounds ago, I was losing weight more rapidly because I was burning calories faster just to move myself around.

However... I'm not completely innocent.

#2 What you eat and how often you cheat on your diet

I definitely cheat every once in a while. Diets have too often failed for me because of deprivation. I am trying to create balance in my diet so I don't balloon when I eventually reach my goal. I have talked and talked and talked about my lifestyle change goal. However, I still need to be careful. This website provides a very nice article on how to cheat on your diet and still be successful. It also provides a list of foods to eat, and on the list is high fiber cereals and oatmeal, which I eat frequently, yeah for me! The website also says not to drink soda, but we all know that's not gonna happen. :) When I get closer to my end goal, I may have to give it up, but I'm not quite willing yet!

#3 How motivated you are

Obviously, I've been more motivated in the past. It's hard to stay as motivated when you've had success. I need to stay in the same mind frame. Now that I've tasted success, I need to keep going strong until I make it to the end. I'm not worried that I won't make it, I've just slowed down. You'd think that with the success I've had, that I would keep going full steam, but maybe I've gotten cocky?

What is the point?

I need to refocus. I don't expect to lose three pounds a week, but I need to remain as motivated as I once was.

Today I am grateful for the people in my life who keep my attitude in check. Sometimes I need a reminder to be positive!

Finally! Some Progress!

I feel like I'm turning into a broken record when I say that this was a really crazy week. But seriously, I had TWO TESTS. Not just small tests. Big ones. Like one of them is 50% of my grade. So I was pretty stressed this week. When I wasn't studying or working or sleeping, I wasn't functioning. It was like I was on laughing gas. I don't think my roommate likes me anymore...

The point is I didn't get a single workout in this week. I plan to do better this week. I just really don't understand bodies. I lost more weight this week than the last two weeks. And I didn't exercise. I'm about ready to swear off exercise again! Just kidding, everyone. We can all relax. I'm going to continue exercising. I know, bodies are weird, and fluctuations, and gaining muscle, and all that jazz. Not to mention the fact that I think I was more careful with my food intake this week. But for reals, I wasn't THAT careful... My body is so confusing.

So the result for this week: I lost 1.6 pounds for a total of 46.2 pounds. Finally! I made some progress!

I'll be posting some more pictures this week that I'm pretty excited about, and I'm also really excited about a post I'm publishing on November 3rd that will be featured on Fitblogger!

Today I'm grateful for my nieces and nephews. They are so cute. I'll tell you why on Tuesday.

My Actual Goal

So I've had this blog for a little while now, and I realized that I've never actually stated what my end goal is. It's hard to know what a healthy weight is, so I looked it up based on what the Body Mass Index of a girl who is 5'1" is supposed to be. I know, I'm short. So, a girl at my height should weigh anywhere between 98 - 132 lbs.

I'm young, and I'm pretty petite, at least I think I am. I have the smallest hands of anyone I know. Does that mean I'm petite? So anyway, I'm setting my goal at 115 lbs. If there's ever a time in my life when I can reach this goal, it's right now. I'm really excited, because this is the farthest I've ever come, and I know I'll do it this time.

As for fitness goals, I don't really have any specific ones. I'm doing the Body for Life routines, which is interval training, so it's not like I have to run a mile in a set amount of minutes. I just want to continue to stay active by working out three to four times a week as my schedule allows.

As for how close I am to reaching my goal of 115 lbs, I am still too insecure to reveal that information at this point. But I do have a specific milestone in mind for when I will be ready to unleash that secret.

Today I am grateful that I can fit into my roommates jeans. I did laundry last night and my pants were still wet this morning and I needed some pants for an early morning meeting for work! It's pretty awesome to be able to swap clothes!

What Was I Thinking?

The people have spoken. I will keep weighing in on Sundays. this will maintain consistency, but I may not like the number I get as much as a Friday number. Thanks for participating in my poll!

This week was another busy week between school and work and trying to squeeze time in for friends. Not to mention I got an FC Twin System that plays old Nintendo games that I of course put ahead of everything else. That thing is awesome! But I somehow managed to get in a lower body workout, and an upper body workout, and two running routings. The Body for Life workouts of course. I fit in four workouts! Phew! Goal achieved.

So here's what happened Thursday night. I'm running, and the Body for Life running routine is done in intervals, because interval training is more stressful and builds muscle. Well, I think it's time for me to ramp up my intervals, because I was on my last set of intervals, and I accidentally went over by one minute. I don't particularly enjoy running. This is a twenty minute exercise, and I ended up running for twenty-one minutes! I looked at the treadmill timer and thought to myself, "How did this happen?!?" When I'm running, I DON'T lose track of time! But I did this time, so I figured it must be time to step it up a notch.

So Saturday: It was upper body workout day. I hate the upper body workouts. It just takes a long time. It's five muscle groups versus three muscle groups on the lower body workouts. But I finished my upper body workout on Saturday and was for some reason feeling like a rock star. So I decided to do a running routine! Fourth workout of the week, but only the third time. Remember, it was time for me to step it up a notch. So I re-evaluated my intervals and set them up again at higher levels. It was pretty intense! It started out okay, but by the last five minutes, I WISHED FOR DEATH! The only thing that got me through it was this. I listened to it TWICE in the last five minutes because it's such a good pump up song! It wasn't until the second time that I listened to it that I realized what the song was called and thought about how funny it was. Seriously, what was I thinking? Stepping up the notch? I don't run! However, like I have said before, once I was done I realized it wasn't that bad and was excited for the next time. This new body of mine can handle more than it used to!

So things are going well on the exercise front, however, I ate really bad this week. I think I only had four days this week that I ate healthy the whole day. Everyone always wants to go out to eat for some reason. I was careful on portions for the most part...

The results: I weigh the same today that I did last Sunday. I did not lose weight, I did not gain weight. I could be upset about this, but I'm not gonna let it bum me out. I'm just gonna let it be a learning opportunity and eat better this week. I'm gonna concentrate on my fitness victories from this week.

Today I am grateful for my friends. I could talk all day about how uplifting my friends are. Each one has something in particular I am grateful for. I had a lot of fun this week, and I had a GREAT weekend. My friends are AWESOME!

If You Have a Gratitude Attitude

When I started this blog, I thought it would be a good idea to check out some of the other weight loss bloggers out there, and it turns out there's a huge weight loss blog community! One particular healthy living blogger is Ashley, who writes Nourishing the Soul, started a new series called Self Discovery, Word by Word. She is asking the whole blogging community to "engage in meaningful self-reflection by focusing on just one word."

This months word is GRATITUDE.

Funny, right? Right after I start posting what I'm grateful for at the end of each post, this series is started. Just perfect. So today's post is about what I am grateful for.

I am grateful for SO MUCH right now. The number one thing I am grateful for is that I just got a part time job at a really crucial time in my life. I'm going to school right now and quit my job due to scheduling conflicts and was able to find another job in the same field a few weeks later. The timing was perfect, it couldn't have worked out better for me. My new boss is soooooo sweet. She is going to be awesome to work with, I am so grateful for her. The interview was pretty intense for a part-time job, but it went really well. Obviously, since I got it. I'm in a really good environment, and I think I'm going to really enjoy working with the people I'm with, as much as I miss my old co-workers. They will never be replaced.

I am so grateful for my family and friends. My family has been so supportive of me through all the changes in my life. I moved out of my parents house and changed jobs, and they have been awesome throughout it all. They have been very supportive of me with my diet and weight loss journey as well. Even my brothers. They joke around with me, but that's just how they are. My family isn't the lovey dovey type. We have fun and yell and fight instead of hug and kiss. But it's very enjoyable. My friends have been extremely supportive as well. Some of them are more concerned about me than they need to be, but I know it is because they care, and that means a lot to me.

I am extremely grateful for my mom! She does so much for me even though she injured her foot and hasn't been able to walk for the last few months! I have been busy with school and work, and because I've lost so much weight, my clothes don't fit and I can't afford to buy new clothes! So what did she do for me? She tailored my skirts and pants for me so I can still wear them! It took a lot of time, and it saved me a lot of money.

Some people think this is silly, but I am SO grateful for music. It gets me through the day, it gets me through my tough workouts. Music is incredibly important to me, so when I find a band that pumps me up, I'm very grateful for it.

I have been incredibly blessed lately, and I know that it is because I am living my life the way I am supposed to be living it. I am being blessed for the good things I've done in my life and for the good choices I have made.