Vulnerable: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
I’ve been really excited for the next topic in the Self Discovery Word by Word Series. This month it is being hosted by Karen at Before & After: A Real Life Story. But then I found out that the word this month was vulnerability. Dang. This is not a subject I really want to talk about. Gratitude was super easy for me. I have a lot to be grateful for. But vulnerability is something that is not easy for me to discuss. That is why this post is my version of the popular Exposed Movement.
People assume that I am strong and have no emotion. They assume I’m never vulnerable. They assume wrong.
In regards to my weight loss journey, feeling vulnerable is something that I have felt a lot more than I am used to. I have mentioned time and again how emotional this journey has been. I’m not used to these emotions, so it’s very new for me. I’m used to being a rock! But when you lose a significant amount of weight, you start to become a new person. I’m still trying to figure myself out. While I’m figuring this out, I’m very susceptible to feelings of vulnerability. Things that never would have hurt my feelings before are starting to bother me. I bounce back quickly, because that’s just how I am. Things that people say or even what people don’t say can have an impact on me, which is new. Unfulfilled expectations from my weight loss journey also leave me feeling emotionally wounded.
How can I end this positively? Feelings of vulnerability are definitely a new thing for me since I’ve lost weight. But guess what else? I’m happier than I remember ever being. I’m not the same person I used to be, and I’m discovering more about myself every day. So I guess I’m grateful for feelings of vulnerability, because that makes me a little more normal. If I have to deal with some painful emotions to be this happy, I think I can handle that.