This post is actually a continuation of the Timeline in Pictures. That post was getting too long and somewhat off topic, so I decided to split it into two posts.
As I had mentioned, this weight loss journey has been extremely emotional. I almost feel like I am losing my sense of identity. My identity for as long as I can remember has been the fat girl. As I have shown you in the previous post, this hasn't necessarily been true, which is one of the reasons why this has been so emotional. Such a waste of negativity.
Fat girls are insecure about themselves, and to hide behind it they are the "funny" ones in the group. Are there any funny skinny girls out there? Was I funny in junior high before I got fat? I don't remember. Has anyone out there seen the buses that drive around with the Golds Gym advertisement that says "Tired of being the fat funny one?" That always rang true to me. I was tired of being the fat funny one. But can I still be funny now that I am losing weight? Am I still the same person? Now that I won't have to hide behind the insecurities of my body and I won't have to "make up for it" by being funny, what kind of person will I be?
This is the kind of thinking that has been driving me crazy lately. My brain is definitely going to have to do some rewiring. I can't lose all this weight and make it to my end goal and then spend the rest of my life still thinking of myself as the fat girl.
Sorry for the downer posts, I'll get back to my perky self now. Today I am grateful for the FC Twin System that finally came in the mail. I've been playing the old Nintendo games nonstop! Yeah for Mario, Duck Hunt, and Punch Out and for friends who play with me!