Friday, January 14, 2011

"We're Not Fat"

I was at the store the other day buying ingredients to make my fabulous rolo cookies. I rarely make them because they are a pain in the butt to make, but I was in the mood to make stuff that week for some reason. Anyway, I was in the aisle with the white chocolate and bags and bags of candy looking for rolos. I needed a ton of rolos for these cookies and I had to go to three stores to find them. Apparently they don't sell them anymore. Either that, or everyone was making these same cookies. At one of the stores I was at, some people walked down the aisle while I was looking for rolos, and I immediately felt ashamed and wanted to hide. I didn't want to be seen in the candy aisle looking for rolos!

I had to remind myself that it's okay. People don't see what I think they see. When people look at me, they see a normal sized person. They don't see a fatty looking for her next sugar fix, which is what I immediately assume they are thinking. And even if they do, I need to remember that I don't care what they think. They don't know what I'm doing with the rolos. They don't know I'm making cookies with them. They don't know that I'm sharing the cookies with my friends and co-workers.

Sometimes I just need to be reminded that I'm not what I used to be. Like when I went to the store a few weeks ago with a friend and we parked far away. I didn't want to park far away because it was cold, but this friend assumed it was because I didn't want to walk that far. This friend said to me, "Rosie, we're not fat." It was funny, but it was also a nice reminder.

Today I'm thankful for midnight beverage runs.

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